“This Volcano”: The New Hit Song from The Painted Hill

Musical artists are no stranger to the apocalypse. R.E.M. and Matchbox Twenty come to mind as having chart-topping catchy songs with end of the world themes. Something you might not expect, though, is such apocalyptic prose accompanied by a relaxing acoustic arrangement. That’s precisely what the Menomonie-based alt-rock duo The Painted Hill have recorded with their latest tune, “This Volcano.”

The Painted Hill

The Painted Hill

So sit back, relax, and listen to the delightful sounds of The Painted Hill as the world comes to an end.

“This Volcano” can be heard on the Epic Iris Radio Network or downloaded from iTunes.

Don’t forget to check out The Painted Hill on Facebook while your at it!

Posted in Music, News

Epic Iris Newspaper: Free, Satirical News for Your Enjoyment

UFOs have been sighted in Russia? President Obama is negotiating with the alien leaders? What on Earth is happening? Epic Iris Newspaper has all the answers!

Epic Iris’ weekly satirical paper has the scoop on all the major current events of the past week, saturated with an Onion-inspired sense of humor. Best of all, it’s free! This week’s issue covers some of the most inane end of the world developments you could possibly imagine.

Leader of the aliens and President Obama meet for a press conference.

Leader of the aliens and President Obama meet for a press conference.

Aliens allegedly seen in Russia with first meteor sighting

Aliens allegedly seen in Russia with first meteor sighting.

Pick up this issue of the Epic Iris Newspaper from a newsstand near you, or check the online version here!

Posted in News, Newspapers

Spoiler Alert: Everybody Dies!

Epic Iris Media’s cinema division has conjured up quite possibly the most insane movie ever imagined. Follow the exploits of Emil, a young boy who is visited by an alien robot named Jackie Chan Version 1 (or the JCV1). Jackie reveals to Emil that he is not from this planet, and that Emil landed here from Uranus. Turns out, that Emil was supposed to end the world on December 21, 2012, but since he landed on his head, lost his memory and was raised by Earthlings, he never destroyed the world. Another alien, Tracy, is sent from Uranus to finish the job. She is hunting down Emil and trying to steal his brain, using the lost information inside to find the ultimate weapon: The Arm of Geddon. Why Emil and JCV1 be able to stop Tracy or is she going to succeed in destroying our planet? Find out in the up coming movie Spoiler Alert: Everybody Dies!

If that trailer doesn’t have you clamoring for more, I don’t know what will. Coming soon to a theater near you!

Spoiler Alert

Posted in Movies, News

66.6 FM The Fear: A Radio Station for the Apocalypse

Before the world goes to hell in a handbasket, why not listen to the scary voices and tunes offered up by the folks at 66.6 FM The Fear. A station on the Epic Iris Radio Network, The Fear is a digital station based in Menomonie, WI featuring a wide array of news, talk, and music content. You’ll hear interviews with scientists and crazy people offering their insights on end of the world theories, all accompanied by a plethora of world ending swan songs from a variety of genres.  It’s the perfect station for the superstitious sorts!

Radio

Listen live by clicking the image above, or check out the iHeartRadio page!
While your at it, also browse our new 66.6 FM The Fear merchandise!

Posted in News, Radio

Predictions of the End: A Collection of Apocalyptic Stories

Have you ever wondered how the world would end? Ever since the Earth survived the last predicted apocalypse in 2012 people have been wondering what’s next. This book is a collection of short stories from some new authors giving you a fictional glimpse of what the end of the world will look like. Everything from a Red Giant Sun on its way to engulf the Earth to global warming, these stories will blow you away, literally.

Book Cover

Here’s a couple excerpts to wet your apocalyptic appetite:

Dried Out, Shannon Pelky

Day 1:

I found this notebook today. I shouldn’t have taken it, but they would have trashed it anyway. It was never used, so I just felt bad for it. I know what it’s like to feel useless, so in a snap decision I shoved it into my pack when I was alone. I don’t know what to do with it now, and so far this is all I’ve got, but I’m sure I will figure something out.

Day 2:

I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided to use this to tell my story. It’s not long, and it not very interesting, but it’s not for anyone else. It’s for me. I’m lonely, and I’ve been lonely for a long time. We don’t talk about that here. Life’s a blessing, so if you complain you’re ungrateful. I just need to talk to somebody, or something in this case, that won’t judge for what I say or use it against me.

I’m dying, but so is everyone else. The Sun is expanding just as Scientists predicted billions of years ago. They’ve explained that the Sun is turning into a Red Giant, which has raised the temperature throughout Earth to at least 110°F everyday with high humidity. The water has been slowly drying out over time, so our leaders had to ration it out before the all of the natural water was gone. Now every drop is artificial. Almost everything in our lives is artificially grown simply to allow us to survive. They reserve a certain amount of water for humans, another portion for animals, and the rest goes to plants. They’re just prolonging our lives. We would have all died off if people would just let nature take its course, but as human we refuse to give up. So somehow I was born into a family of survivors, and that why I’m here today.

Day 3:

I hate my job, so it makes it difficult to get up in the morning. I clear out houses, which I try to hide from people but I see the looks neighbors give me, and I can tell they know. They’ve all got too much pride, or morals as they say, to deal with dead bodies. They call us “zombies”, because we’re dead in their eyes. People just ignore us, and let us do the work they don’t want to think about. The bodies are not often in best shapes at death, and they don’t always die of natural causes. I’m used to it now so it takes a lot more to phase me. The one thing that really disturbs them more then anything is what we do with the bodies. I won’t go into detail but we don’t waste anything that we find. We either sell what we find for water and food tokens, or keep it for our own survival. Some say that what we do is savage, but we don’t go hungry or thirsty. We survive. I think it takes guts to fight for survival and I respect anyone who tries. Some give up a lot easier then others, but it keeps us in business so I guess I can’t complain. I’d like know what would happen if we weren’t around. I don’t know who would take over. I wonder what would happen if people could just raid houses with no code or order. Now that’s what I see when I picture something savage, and it’s not a pretty side of what mankind is capable of.

Where will you be?, Colin Marklowitz

Thanking Cheryl and wishing her a good morning as well, I went into my office, stack of notes in hand and looked around. The place was meticulous as usual, the bookshelves along the east wall dusted and neat. The framed degrees and awards all hung straight and the glass spotless. The window that overlooked the park was clean and free of streaks or smudges and the stack of papers that Cheryl had promised sat on my desk like a mountain waiting to be climbed. Setting down my things, I settled in at my desk, turning on the computer while starting to take a look at the notes I had been handed. As I leaned back, flipping through the notes, I felt more than heard an earth shattering roar, ripping through the depths of the earth up into the core of my being, a feeling and sound that I cannot even describe adequately, as my body was seemingly a lightning rod for all the power the earth could muster as gravity temporarily inversed itself.

I flew straight out of my chair, and if not for the high ceilings in my office would have surely died on impact with the ceiling. It felt like I was floating, like an astronaut in zero gravity, just hanging out in my office as all my possessions floated around me. What felt like hours turned out to be merely seconds, as I came crashing back down, my desk and chair and books and computer and papers and bookshelves and pictures crashing down all around me, turning my once pristine office into a scrap heap.

I struggled to get to my feet, amazed that I was still conscious. Stumbling out of my office, the rest of the floor was in considerable shambles. Bodies lay everywhere, printers and computers in considerable damage all over the place. Paper was still floating down around the carnage, like a grotesque snowfall covering the wreckage underneath. No one was moving and everything was hauntingly silent. As I surveyed the scene, fear washed over me and every hair on my body was standing at attention.

This new Epic Iris publication is available in print and digital formats through Amazon. Get it now on the Kindle eBooks marketplace!

Posted in Books, News

Doomsday Preppers: All-New End of the World TV Show

Think you’re prepared for an Armageddon? A nuclear fallout? A zombie apocalypse? Think again, as this new show from Epic Iris Media will offer some thoughtful insight on how to prepare for, and hopefully survive, the inevitable end of the world. Check out the teaser trailer for Doomsday Preppers below.

Watch Doomsday Preppers before the doomsday clock strikes midnight! Coming soon to the National Geographic Channel.

Posted in News, Television

Iris Entertainment: End of the World Edition

Check out the latest issue of Epic Iris Media’s magazine publication, Iris Entertainment, in print and digital formats! This issue tackles the end of the world craze with dozens of informative and amusing articles covering tips on surviving an apocalyptic catastrophe, countdowns of the greatest apocalypse movies and tunes, and some of the most outlandish world ending theories.

IrisEntCover

Be sure to subscribe to more issues of Iris Entertainment on their Issuu page.

Posted in Magazines, News

A Helpful Guide On How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

This book written by Max Brooks details how to survive a zombie apocalypse once it finally hits. He details how to survive on little resources, which weapons are the best to kill the Zeds, and where to go and how to live once society has collapsed.

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The Zombie Survival Guide can be purchased here, at Amazon.

Posted in Books, News

We Have 93 Years Left till the Next End of the World: Killer Asteroid to Hit Earth in 2106

This excerpt of an article from The Voice of Russia addresses the “asteroid impact” theory of the end of the world, and they provide some scary evidence that gives the theory some validity. While the Apophis asteroid that was expected to strike Earth in 2036 is no longer in the realm of probability, Russian astronomers, Andrey Oreshko and Timur Kryachko have stumbled upon another astronomical cause for concern: 2012 YQ1. With a projected collision date of 2106, this large rock could create an impact comparable to that of thousands of atomic bombs.

Original story from The Voice of Russia, “We Have 93 Years Left till the Next End of the World: Killer Asteroid to Hit Earth in 2106″

Less than a month ago NASA announced that the Earth is in fact safe from the infamous asteroid, Apophis, which was expected to collide with our planet in 2036. It is now reported that the chances of impact are lower than one in a million. Despite that good news, it turns out that any celebrations might be a little premature. Two weeks ago Russian astronomers Andrey Oreshko and Timur Kryachko discovered yet another asteroid, with the catchy name of 2012 YQ1, which will, in all likelihood, crash into Earth, but not until 2106.

It was yet another all-nighter for two Russian astronomers, Andrey Oreshko and Timur Kryachko, when their red eyes saw a previously unrecorded asteroid revealed by the lens of their remote-controlled telescope ‘Elena’, located in the Chilean Atacama desert. Having already found more than a dozen previously unknown asteroids, the astronomers were not particularly excited about their latest discovery. However, their ambivalence quickly gave way to anxiety when the two men studied the size and trajectory of the new-found 2012 YQ1; with a diameter of 230 meters and an orbital period of 1040 days, it soon became clear that the asteroid was highly likely to strike planet Earth. Using ‘Elena’, with its integrated CCD technology and 0.4 meter diameter primary mirror, Oreshko and Kryachko were able calculate the probable time of collision: January 2106. Given that ‘Elena’ is one of the most advanced telescopes in use today, the probability that the astronomers are mistaken is extremely low.

YQ1 Article

Image courtesy of http://www.nasaimages.org

What is particularly interesting about the discovery of YQ1 is the fact that the asteroid was found by a privately-owned telescope in the southern hemisphere which was being remotely controlled from an apartment in Moscow. This is a rather unusual event as the discovery of new asteroids has tended to be the privilege of NASA. With annual funding of around three billion dollars, the agency closely monitors thousands of celestial bodies and studies hundreds of potentially hazardous asteroids by analysing their trajectories and taking various measurements. Nonetheless, this time NASA’s network of robotic telescopes was beaten by the Russian-funded ‘Elena’ which was first to spot one of the most dangerous asteroids in the history of astronomy.

In Mr Oreshko’s opinion, this once again proves that while technology plays a significant role in space exploration, attention to detail and open-mindedness are, in the end, what count the most. The night Oreshko and Kryachko made their disturbing discovery they were actually busy taking pictures of galaxies and other celestial bodies and, were it nor for sharp eyes, YQ1 might have remained undiscovered for another decade.

Posted in News, Web

The End Is…Probably Not Very Near

Simon Steinhardt via Jess3 Blog offers a short but clever infographic that illustrates 182 other occasions on which the world was supposed to end. Yet again, another article points out the inevitable farce that was the 2012 Mayan prediction.

Original story by Simon Steinhardt, “The End is…Probably Not Very Near”

It’s the end of world as we know it…or is it? The Maya Long Count calendar reaches the end of its cycle this Friday, December 21, and various doomsday theories have predicted either an apocalypse or a global spiritual transformation. We’re hoping for the latter rather than the former, but all signs seem to be pointing to nothing special happening, as NASA points out.

But fact or fiction, all this talk of cataclysm is nothing new. Remember Y2K? Remember Harold Camping? And those are just examples from our short (but hopefully getting much, much longer) lifetimes. The Jehovah’s Witnesses alone have made about 20 doomsday predictions over the past 135 years, and of course none have, to our knowledge, come to pass.

So to help you rest assured, and remind you of the rich human imaginations that have produced all kinds of prophecies, predictions, and prognostications over the centuries, JESS3 is proud to bring you this snackable timeline of all the dates we were told the world was going to end—and it didn’t.

JESS3_Blog_Simon_Apocalypse_when-1

Posted in News, Web
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